Drunken Post of the Day: Mz. Zarin is a Fame Whore

First, Mz. Chick would like to wish a happy Canada Day to all you Canadian bitches out there!  Mz. Chick highly approves of her neighbors to the north!  Especially when you get drunk and hit each other over the head with hockey sticks, pour maple syrup all over yourselves, stick Canadian Bacon on your body and yell "EH!" at the top of your voice.  (Mz. Chick teases because she loves.)

Mz. Chick is sad to report that she will not be blogging during the weekends.  Even her drunken ass needs a break from all this Housebitch fucketry going on!  However, if something major happens, you know Mz. Chick will let loose a giggle of glee and rush to her computer to update her blog and let all her bitches know about it.  She will be on the Twater over the weekend, so pop in and give your favorite drunken bitch blogger a shout-out!

Just in case she is to drunk to post on Monday: Mz. Chick wishes to extend a Happy Fourth of July to all her  fellow U.S.A. bitches!  Don't kill yourselves by blowing up fireworks, hitting each other over the head with a football, or kill someone else by being a bit overenthusiastic when you smash apple pies into their face!

This bitch is at it again!

Jill "The Bitch" Zarin is stirring up shit again!  Here is what she twated: 

Well, you just know that Mz. Chick couldn't resist that invitation!  She promptly signed up for that fame whore's "unedited" blog!  You can read what Jill "The Bitch" Zarin wrote on Bravo's blog here.

The UNEDITED version is basically more bullshit promotion of The Bitch's fame whore ways.  Damn!  Mz. Chick admires that fame whoring bitch!  She only hopes she can reach that level of self-promoting, narcissistic, delusional behavior herself one day!  Kudos, Mz. Zarin!

Here is "THE TRUTH" according to Jill "The Bitch" Zarin:

It appears on the show that the only issue was what Simon was tweeting. That is not entirely accurate. Simon has hosted a person who has stalked me at my home and office, in their home for one of the boy's birthday parties. He knew exactly who she was, as he met her through another person who has seriously threatened my family to the point we had to call the police and postal service security. For them to deny it now is simply ridiculous as there is a paper trail a mile long thanks to my cyber assistants. As usual Bobby's instincts were right. My cyber assistants later discovered that Alex actually attended my anti-bullying luncheon the day after she and Simon entertained someone they knew to be my stalker, in their home. Not someone who just stalked me, but was also accused of stalking a former employee of hers. How would you feel?

(Mz. Chick disclaimer:  Mz. Chick is only copying a small portion of the "newsletter" from Mz. Zarin to "critique it."  In other words, fair use, bitches!)

Bravo probably didn't let that go through on their website because they didn't want to get sued and Mz. Andy didn't want to lose his job!  Show us this "paper trail" by your "cyber assistants" (I KNEW IT, the bitch pays people to monitor everything that gets said about her on the web!  HAHAHAHAHA!  Silly bitch!).  You know that if she had any evidence, she would have been waving it around all over the place long before now!

She also accuses Simon of deleting "mean tweets!"  Excuse the fuck out of Mz. Chick,  but you're the only one who goes around deleting shit! (Wow!  Mz. Chick is about to get violent up in here!  Watch out, bitches!)  Does Mz. Chick need to remind you of the fucketry you engaged in just this week?  Here is what Simon twated about that:

My twitter feed is public unlike some I dont delete tweets or Facebook posts Where r my cyber bullying tweets #JustCosUSayItDoesntMakeItTrue

And you know what?  Mz. Chick believes her fellow drunken man-bitch. Furthermore, he owned up to the whole "watch out" comment and twated that he felt badly about that.  Unlike Mz. Zarin, my fellow drunk man-bitch owns his actions!  Cheers, darling!

My favorite fellow drunken bitch Ramona Singer also jumped in and posted this in in her blog today:

I was very surprised by the way Jill was speaking about Simon in reference to the negative Facebook posts and Tweets. Was Jill really speaking about herself? I have never witnessed any of this from Simon, but Jill on the other hand gets caught left and right and then deletes her posts like they never happened!

Now, Mz. Chick fully believes (because she is becoming a delusional Twater Fame Whore) that this can only mean that my favorite fellow drunken bitch, Mz. Singer, read Mz. Chick's post on what Mz. Zarin did this week!  If so, hello and cheers Mz. Singer!

Moving on to some more delusional behavior of Jill "The Bitch" Zarin.

Mz. Chick has learned a valuable lesson.  Whatever BS Mz. Zarin spews, hit the fucking print screen button.

Firstly, Mz. Chick wants to know if @RealityTVMorons is now being blocked by Mz. Zarin?  Do dish, darling (if you read this drunken mess of a blog).  Mz. Chick does recognize the handle!  Secondly, we really believe that Mz. Zarin doesn't know a thing about buying twaters!  Maybe she should ask her (paid) cyber assistants.  Also, yesterday, many new Twater accounts were made who just happened to be Mz. Zarin fans!  One of them even twated to Mz. Divine Horse Teeth with reference to yours truly:

Mz. Chick is becoming Twater famous, bitches!

Here that, Mz. Divine Horse Teeth?  You better straighten up or else Mz. Zarin is going to send her paid cyber assistants to pay you a visit!  And Mz. Chick is mad about this twater claiming that she hates Mz. Zarin!  Mz. Chick looks to Mz. Zarin as her role model on how to be a Mean Bitch who indulges in remarkable displays of public drunken stupidity!  Get it straight, or else Mz. Chick is going to start mean twating you, bitch!  

Mz. Zarin also bragged about her new followers:

Mz. Chick wonders if she can RSVP to the ustream.com party?

So, she pays her "cyber assistants" to follow her and feels love back from them?  Mz. Chick objects at all of the porno references running through her drunken head!  Mz. Chick also objects to the fact that one of her paid cyber assistants blocked her from commenting on The Bitch's Facebook!  Mz. Chick wonders just what she has done to her role-model-in-fame-whoring, Mz. Jill "The Bitch" Zarin?  

Enough with messing around with this silly bitch (at least, for today)!

Other Housewife News

• The Housewives Hoedown has a video of Anderson Cooper recounting a conversation he had with NeNe.  She drunk dialed him and yelled "Don't be tarty for the party!"  Awesome.  Get your drink on, bitch!
• "I Hate Jill Zarin" (the blog owned by the Glorious Lynn) has a much more coherent version (read: not drunk) of what went down last night on the Real Housebitches of New York.
• Jezebel has a post up about the whole "mean tweeting" stupidity going on from last night's episode.

Other News

• Baby Mama Drama!  The lovely Salama Hayek's hubby apparently got down and dirty with the equally lovely Linda Evangelista and fathered a son with her!  But don't worry, he didn't "officially" cheat on Mz. Hayek.  This supposedly happened when the two had broken up for a time. 
• Etiquette tip: How to Menstruate Politely.  Countless, are you paying attention?  Wait, you have to be a woman for this tip.  Never mind, Countless, so sorry!
• Be warned, if you kiss a preacher who is protesting gay people and shouting that everyone is going to hell, you will be charged with assault.  Mz. Chick recommends just punching them instead.  (Mz. Chick takes no responsibility if one of her drunken followers actually does this.)

Top Ten Drunken Twits..Twats, Whatever Of The Day

If you would like to submit your twit, twat, whatever for Mz. Chick's consideration, you can join her on twitter.  If it is truly hilarious, DM her as well so she doesn't miss it.

Mz. Chick's Twater Page

1. BravoBitchy1 (Twitter Page ): And I don't want to melt mommy! WTF?! For real? I had to laugh, but def gonna kick ex in the balls next time I see him! (All exes need to be kicked in the balls.  At least once.)
2. Mamecastle (Twitter Page): Good, I think the Y chromosome just fucks everything up anyway. Looking at you Koo-Koo Man-Hands Kelly!  (Mz. Chick just figured out what is wrong with the Countless!)
3. kikilet (Twitter Page): @KellyBensimon Your stepnrepeat beavershot reveals Transvaginal Mesh Failure. Contact a magician asap.  (Mz. Chick has absolutely no idea....but she does know that this is funny!)
4. BlckdByJilZarin (Twitter Page): @MzElizaChick I was about to ask if you'd fallen while getting the wine. (All the damned time, darling.)
5. AmyBartsch (Twitter Page ): @MzElizaChick That's right bitch! Lol Prunk and Droud !  ("Prunk and Droud" is now Mz. Chick's new motto!)
6. MarisaGreenLevy (Twitter Page): is proud to be a passionate bitch (Own it, you drunken passionate bitch!)
7. likim16 (Twitter Page): @MzElizaChick Your blog is a hoot, just fabulous darrrrling... (Mz. Chick just so loves people kissing her twater-fame-whore-ass!)
8. cellabella1 (Twitter Page): @MzElizaChick #fuckwhore..that's some funny stuff! Thanks 4the link! I needed help. #blameitonthewine. Or @Jillzarin. #mzchickiewhore<famous (What top 10 drunken twats wouldn't be complete without one of Cheryl's drunken ramblings?!?)
9. QuincyILIHJZ (Twitter Page): Bobby Zarin wants to upgrade Jill's computer dept. He just bought Skynet. Q (Jill is going to bankrupt that poor man.)
10. bronzebeau (Twitter Page): @kellybensimon Kook, your dried up leather, orange, square tits linebacker body is bothering me. Make it stop. ASAP. #rhony (MEAN TWIT!  TWAT!!  WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER!!)

Mz. Chick is making up for the fact that she didn't post this in the second update yesterday.  You're welcome!