Monday, July 4, 2011

Drunken Fourth of July Update of the Day

Hello again, bitches!  Grab your wine because here is your update of the day!  Let's just get to it:

The pic that got Mz. Chick banned from Mz. Rossi's twater!
The big news is that Mz. Chick is becoming even more Twater famous, bitches!  Gretchen "The Slut" Rossi has blocked Mz. Chick from her twater!  Mz. Chick hasn't even gotten around to fucking with the bitch on the Twater, she just posted one little snarky post about corn dogs and supporting a dead-beat fame-whore and BAM!  The bitch banned Mz. Chick!  Hahahahahaha!  Mz. Chick is quite proud of this accomplishment.

Mz. Gorga in a dress any drunken whore would be proud of!
In The Real House Bitches of New Jersey news, the National Enquirer is claiming that Melissa Gorga swings both ways!  That's right bitches, Mz. Gorga has swam in the lady pond!  Mz. Chick can here her fellow drunken bitches screech, "But, Mz. Chick, darling, this is the National Enquirer reporting this!  You can't possibly believe in that rag!"  Oh, yes I do, bitches!  When it comes to sex scandals, the National Enquirer is all over that shit and gets it right (see Bill Clinton, John Edwards, The Arnold, etc.).  Hahahahaha!  I wonder if this is the reason why Tree and the rest of her family don't particularly like Mz. Gorga?  That and she is a manipulative bitch!

Right back at ya, Mz. Staub!
Mz. Chick is giggling in drunken glee that Mz. Danielle Staub is going to be back on television.  This time, she is on a VH1 show called "Famous Food" and it will debut this Sunday at ten eastern. Yes, bitches, at the same time as The Real House Bitches of New Jersey!  Hahahaha!  Does VH1 really think people will turn into this train wreck instead of watching The House Bitches?  Mz. Chick is thankful for her wonderful DVR.  If it is the train wreck that she is hoping for, you can rest assure that Mz. Chick will keep you updated about this!  If you would like to see a trailer of this drunken mess, The Housewives Hoedown has kindly posted the drunken mess on their blog.

Mz. Zarin, the lousy tipper who slams cab doors in people's faces (allegedly)!
Holy shit, bitches!  Check out comments on Mz. Chick's last drunken update to get the dirt on some rumors floating around NYC about Mz. Zarin's scandalous behavior!  To cover Mz. Chick's ass (and believe her, this is a big cover) Mz. Chick does not take any responsibility for comments left on her blog.  She is offering a forum for others to vent.  That being said, if these rumors are true (more ass covering by Mz. Chick), Mz. Zarin can't blame editing on this!  Thanks to my fellow drunken bitches who left these comments, you are always welcome to vent to Mz. Chick!

Can anyone tell Mz. Chick why this bitch is ringing the NASDAQ opening bell tomorrow?  Mz. Chick just doesn't get why a bunch of Wall Street types want to be associated with Fame Whores.  Then again, those Wall Street types are a bunch of money whores and Bobby must have paid someone a pretty penny for that "privilege!"

Just a quick note to remind certain bitches who post---Mz. Chick doesn't have many rules for comments, only the following: no spam, no racist remarks and no homophobic remarks.  Mz. Chick will delete them because she doesn't want that shit on her blog (even Mz. Chick has some standards, bitches!).

Don't forget to send Mz. Chick all of your questions on etiquette (or how to become a drunken whore!) and send her some fan mail (or hate mail, she doesn't care!) (read this post for more information)!  Also, be sure to check out The Real House Bitches of Orange County's biography page.

In Other House Bitch News:
In Other News:
  • If you have a life (unlike Mz. Chick) Jezebel has the top ten moments on reality TV this week that you might have missed.  Highlights:  Paris Hilton's camel toe, black balls and Juicy Joe's (vomit) cock ring (Mz. Chick is now going to hunt down Mz. Andy and beat the ever-living drunken shit out of him).
  • Just days after getting out of rehab, Weston Cage (son of Nicholas) and his wife, Nikki Williams, were both arrested for domestic violence.  While Mz. Chick approves of drunken behavior, she does not approve of violence, bitches (unless she is beating the ever-living shit out of Mz. Andy for that particular scene)!

Top Ten Drunken Twits..Twats, Whatever Of The Day
If you would like to submit your twit, twat, whatever for Mz. Chick's consideration, you can join her on twitter.  If it is truly hilarious, DM her as well so she doesn't miss it.
  1. meekat81 (Twitter Page): I JUST WANTED TO LET U KNOW............. I FARTED AND IT TICKLED MY BUTT :D (Thank you for keeping us all updated on your ass.)
  2. CnutInAKattan (Twitter Page ): Monaco is swimming in cash. Surely Princess Stephanie can afford Botox. Money can't buy you class, but it could get a good dermatologist. (The nerve of some people!  How dare she gracefully age!  Mz. Chick disapproves highly!)
  3. goddess_tamara (Twitter Page): @SoTinaO @MarieDomina I'm telling you, that's how Sonja Morgan got the lazy eye! One too many cum shots in the face! #TrueStory  (Mz. Chick loves The Beautiful Mz. Morgan, but this was some funny shit!)
  4. SassNSauce (Twitter Page): @ellegoblue stinking drunk crotch grabbing may be more accepted in her crowd over there. (It is certainly accepted in Mz. Chick's!)
  5. _reallymelissa (Twitter Page): @bravoandy 's bollocks are in @JillZarin 's Birkin bag (Darling, where else would she keep them?)
  6. MamaXanax (Twitter Page): Thanks for the support, gals. I'm a natural-born swallower (There is such a thing as to much information, darling.)
  7. TruthSucceeds (Twitter Page): @MzElizaChick Listening to Mr. BOZO Bullshit Baez, with kkb's retarded tweet... SNAP! Here's creative for you @kellybensimon: STOOPID COW! (Here is hoping that Mr. Bozo Bullshit Baez, Mz. Bensimon, and TruthSucceeds are all in the same room together.  It should be epic!)
  8. shadester126 (Twitter Page): @MzElizaChick fck yeah! I am going to work hard at making your tweet list! Ballz to the wall!! (Congratulations, darling!)
  9. Gindaloony (Twitter Page ): Stop trying to deep throat me with your Twittelator! (OH MY!  Mz. Chick is shocked at the pornography on Twater!)
  10. thekat0711 (Twitter Page): My &$@ing neighbor is playing just the chorus of Poker Face on repeat.  (While Mz. Chick does not approve of violence, this is one of those times when it is called for.  Punch them.  No jury will find you guilty.)

4 comments:

  1. from shadester126-I made the list. I am so honored and would like to thank Mz Chick and members of the twat world for this honor!

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  2. Is very proud of Mz Chick's attempts to become famous on Twatter. She is on her way because she really has the best drunken, bitchy blogs on twatter. I just hope she remembers us little bitches when she gets her tiara. I am proud that I made the top 10 drunken comments on Mz Chick's previous blog and will work as hard as my other dear drunken bitch friend Shadester 126.

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  3. That previous post was from MarisaGreenLevy

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  4. Woohoo! I made twits of the day! Jehehehehe. Ellegoblue.

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