MS BS Sings, Mz. Zarin Strikes Again and Mz. Chick's Favorite Tweets of the Day

What.  The.  Hell.

Mz. Chick has been laughing her silly drunken ass off thanks to MS BS (a phrase she stole from the wonderful Cat Ommanney) entertaining all of us with her equally drunken debut of "Bump It!' in Miami back on the 24th.  Grab your wine bitches and enjoy this deliciously bad video courtesy of Pop Eater.

Yes.  She actually stepped out looking like this.

Mz. Zarin will be featured on this blog quite a lot, mainly because the bitch blocked Mz. Chick from her twitter.  Furthermore, Mz. Zarin fails to realize that Mz. Chick was only following her in order to perfect her mean girl routine, after all, who better to learn from than the Queen of Mean Girls herself?

Anyway, if you would recall from last year, rumors went around that our dear Alex McCord would be leaving the Real Housewives of New York.  Anyone with a half of brain in their head realized that Mz. Zarin herself started these rumors---hell, Mz. Chick was drunk for most of last year (and all of this year) and she even figured it out!  Seems those rumors have started again (Oh, Jill, will you never learn?), and Mz. McCord delivers the smack down here.  Also, Cindy Bishop (so that is the bitch's name!  Mz. Chick could never figure out who that bitch was wandering around in the background) is also "rumored" to be leaving.  Mz. Chick is glad for that because she is so mesmerized by those big horse teeth she forgets to drink her wine.  And a sober Mz. Chick is not pretty.

Now, shall we dish about last night's episode of the New Jersey Bitches?  Dead animals, Melissa being a bitch, drunk people shooting guns, Joe grabbing Tree's ass and doing splits, and one cock ring (yes, darlings, that really is what that was).  That about covers that.  Bravo, listen up, if Mz. Chick is ever subjected to another cock ring (on TV or otherwise) she will find Andy Cohen and drunkenly beat the ever-living shit out of him.

And finally, the Parenting website brings us the Most Notorious Parenting Moments of the Real House Bitches.  Mz. Chick is grateful that these bitches are reproducing, thus ensuring her that the next generation will provide her plenty of amusement into her golden years.

Other gossipy things Mz. Chick is snarking about today:

• Jennifer Aniston is telling us how she likes to do the dirty deed. Not really.  She is just promoting her upcoming box office bomb.  Mz. Chick is eagerly looking forward to Mz. Aniston's future (and inevitable)  release of her sex tape in a desperate attempt to remain in the spotlight.
• It seems that the delicious Chris Meloni is really leaving Law and Order: SVU.  Mz. Chick has no desire to watch the show ever again. However, she is hoping that Mr. Meloni will release a sex tape.  Because she is a drunken whore like that.
• Hugh Hefner is a whore.  (You know that is true!)  The creepy old man has hooked up with another twenty-something bimbo out to get his money.  Ewww.  Pardon Mz. Chick while she vomits.

And now, Mz. Chick presents...her favorite top ten drunken Tweet posts of the day!  If you would like to be featured as a drunken Twitter...Twatter...whatever the hell, simply follow Mz. Chick.

1. Whiteheart18 (Twitter Page): we do not need to see Juicy Joe and Teresa's sex escapades on Bravo...Animal Planet would have been more appropriate. (Animal sex escapades, by Bravo).
2. tiredofthis (Twitter Page): just favorited your tweet: Mz. Chick has a blog. God help the internet. (Only because Mz. Chick loves it when people favorite her drunken ramblings).
3. Cellabella1 (Twitter Page): Petite Manicurist bought the SPARKLY tennis shoes i want. She said:I was going 2 get u a pair but they didn't have BIG sizes! I punched her. (Mz. Chick always approves of a drunken cat fight).
4. lorilori11735 (Twitter Page): Angry bitchy lady yelling at deli counter staff. She looks like big Bertha http://twitpic.com/5hu7xa (Mz. Chick always approves of posting pics of strangers on the internet so we can laugh at them.  Especially those of angry bitches).
5. lori024 (Twitter Page): My humor may be fading, but if we can keep her off the pole, Chris Rock will be proud. (Mz. Chick has no idea what this is about, but after downing multiple glasses of wine, deemed it funny).
6. MegTheSequel (Twitter Page): Trying to cover your ass now, aren't ya? It won't work. You should've just killed me and called me Granny. (Mz. Chick approves of twitter wars.  Go get 'em, sweetie).
7. LynnschinsLLC (Twitter Page ): use a straw like I do. It helps separate the alcohol from the wine so you don't get as drunk. Lmao (My God, woman, why would you ever dispense advice like that?  Furthermore, why would you ever do it?)
8. Red_Corazon (Twitter Page): I read the comments. Some feel real but others are sooo @jillzarin self-serving. I think she plants those comments. She's vile. (Mz. Chick fully and wholeheartedly approves of any twit which features snarking on Jill Zarin.)
9. MarisaGreenLevy (Twitter Page ):what about Viagra and a porn star? (All that is missing is a bottle of red wine and it is a typical night at Mz. Chick's house.)
10. bronzebeau (Twitter Page): LOL! Imagine the conversation? "Look at my pop ring." "That's not a pop ring, it's a cock ring." Oy vey. (And...Mz. Chick is off to find Andy Cohen to kick the ever-living shit out of him.)