The Divine Mz. McCord, Snark Galore, & Mz. Chick's Favorite Tweets of the Day

DISCLAIMER:  No Housewives were harmed in the writing of this post.

The Divine Mz. McCord.  Mz. Chick's new best friend on Twitter.

Grab your wine bitches, it's time for another post from yours truly!  Firstly, Mz. Chick would like to thank all of her fellow drunken bitches on Twitter for their love of Mz. Chick's blog.  Ya'll rock!

Are you ready for this one?  The divine Mz. McCord twitted to yours truly last night.  Mz. McCord has now become Mz. Chick's favorite housewife ever! That's right, bitches!  Anyone who messes with Mz. Chick's new Twitter best friend will get cut like the bitch she is (you here that Countless and Zarin?  Don't make Mz. Chick go to New York) .

Anyway, here is the scoop:  Mz. McCord tweeted that she had some big news that may or may not be broadcast on the reunion.  Mz. Chick remarked that THAT little announcement was going to launch some rumors.  Mz. McCord tweeted back to Mz. Chick (oh, yes she did!) wondering if Mz. Chick was referring to her modeling and stated that  her news couldn't "compare with the truth."  Mz. Chick tweeted that she thought it was a little more personal than that!  Mz. McCord tweeted back (AGAIN!): "No more vK's joining the party.  Announcements were all about work."

About that point, Mz. Chick peed her pants in excitement about a Real House Bitch twittering with her.  Or it could have been Mz. Chick loses her bodily functions when she is drunk.  Who knows?  So, what do Mz. Chick's fellow drunken bitches think The Divine Mz. McCord's big announcement is?

Other Housewives News:

Nothing says classy like letting your boyfriend feed you a corn dog in public.

• Gretchen Rossi is selling her clothes on Ebay. Supporting a deadbeat fame-whore plays havoc on your bank account.  Even worse, you are forced to sell your whore gear.  Next up for Wretchen?  Horror of horrors, BOXED WINE.
• Granny G and her fame whoring ways attended the premier of Basketball Wives.  Darling, learn how to dress for your age, will you?  Mz. Chick is 35 and wouldn't wear a skirt that short, and she is a drunken whore!
• If you are a psycho bitch who likes to shout out "satchels of gold" at random intervals and call white women "Al Sharpton," then it is your lucky day, you crazy bitch! Kelly Bensimon is now giving out advice.  Jellybeans not included.
• FYI:  If you enjoy making your ears bleed, the Countless has a new single out.  There isn't enough wine in the universe for Mz. Chick to buy that atrocity.  Mz. Chick, contrary to popular opinion, does have standards! She won't even provide a link to that hot mess.  You're welcome!
• The Countless-smacking, bollocks-loving, ever bitchy DC darling, Cat Ommanney, Tweeted this today: "I would like to thank all of you who have shared Salami's 'bump it' with me-It has been remarkably disturbing. Best wishes Xx"  While Mz. Chicks devotion is to the Divine Mz. McCord, Mz. Ommanney is a close second.

This is such a ridiculous picture, Mz. Chick had to post it again.  

In Other News:

• Tits of mass destruction?  A woman got drunk, hit her hubby a couple of times, locked herself in her car and then the cops were called.  She proceeded to whip out her breast and spray the cops with breast milk.  Mz. Chick salutes her fellow drunken bitch.  Cheers, darling!
• Carol Brady got crabs from the former mayor of New York.  Darling, that is a bit too much information even for Mz. Chick.
• What a long, drawn out divorce!  It appears that the Mel and Robin Gibson have finally reached an agreement to divorce, and it will be final sometime this summer.  Mz. Chick is pissed at Mr. Gibson for giving us drunken fools a bad name.  Shame on you, Mr. Gibson, shame!

Top Ten Drunken Twits..Twats, Whatever Of The Day

If you would like to submit your twit, twat, whatever for Mz. Chick's consideration, you can join her on twitter.  If it is truly hilarious, DM her as well so she doesn't miss it.

1. mlaw3 (Twitter Page ): Apparently hubs no longer belives me when I say I cant have sex 2 days in a row bc my vag needs the recovery time #hesgotmynumber (Mz. Chick's advice: record the last episode of the New Jersey Bitches on your DVR and play it whenever husband wants sexy time.  Problem solved.)
2. MusicAsis (Twitter Page ): so I'm supposed to believe your virginity was stolen for a wine cooler at a house party. Sit YO ass down!! (Isn't that the way all girls loose their virginity?)
3. tyomomma (Twitter Page): @KimGranatell everytime I see her in a dress that is too short I have stripper pole flashbacks on RHONJ ..mAKES ME WANT TO BARF (Mz. Chick is still pissed at this bitch for that stripper pole "dance."  She knocked over her wine fleeing the room in terror upon seeing that!)
4. MegTheSequel (Twitter Page): What does that mean? LOL Seriously.. I'm not processing more than 3 word sentences. (Don't feel bad, Mz. Chick can't process more than that either.)
5. BravoBitchy1 (Twitter Page): well, if mine doesn't back off he will b dick~less! (Note to men: don't mess with a woman when she has PMS.)
6. kikilet (Twitter Page ): Are you experiencing Transvaginal Mesh Failure? (Mz. Chick is way to drunk to decipher this, however, she laughed herself silly when she read it.)
7. cellabella1 (Twitter Page ): I wish I could smell my elbow. (Mz. Chick is always amused by Cheryl's tweets.  This is, after all, the woman who invented the term "fuckwhores" and uses it to express her amusement.  Cheers, darling!)
8. MarisaGreenLevy (Twitter Page): a blend of narcissistic personality disorder and a bit of a sociopath (Add a liberal dose of red wine and you have just described Mz. Chick perfectly!)
9. LuvToLoveU (Twitter Page): tell me about this Brazilian blow job thingy.  (It involves three midgets and a bottle of red wine.)
10. Mpinkly (Twitter Page): Now I'm confused again. (That is usually Mz. Chick's normal state of mind.)